dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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