My boss' voice literally gives me gas
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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