No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
