I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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