True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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