Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
This house was built for laser tag.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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