Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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