I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
