We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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