I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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