She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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