put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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