I wish I could teleport
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize