oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
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He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
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If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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