Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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