It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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