the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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