i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
