And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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