So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
