I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
