ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
