I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
