Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
