Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
