Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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