I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
