If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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