Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
