And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
