Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
