Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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