That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
