Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
