dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize