Just cropdusted the office
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize