the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
