Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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