You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
