I'm lost and stupid without you.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
