You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Never joke about your clitoris.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
