I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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