Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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