I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
