In the future we'll all be gay
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
