I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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