I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
honey bunches of taint.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
