While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
