well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
