Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
