i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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