I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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