That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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