im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How does one acquire holy water?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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