worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
