I only kidnapped one of them. chill
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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