I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
