dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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