i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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