Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
