i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
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Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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