where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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