Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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