So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
