I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You need a sexual gate keeper
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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